Pitru Devo Bhava

|| Sri Ramakrishna Sharanam||

Aum Namo Narayanaya

It leaves me bewildered when I see flocks of domestic and international tourists arrive in Durban scantily clad whilst we Durbanites sleeve as many garments as we can to avert possible hyperthermia. While our city is branded as the ‘warmest place to be’ – this winter it begs my curiosity if our Creator intentionally created us with this defect of ‘chill intolerance’ so we desert our city for others to enjoy the warm, loving winter hospitality.

Indeed it is a testosterone-dominated weekend, giving Father’s Day a special twist with the much talked about and anticipated Top Gear Festival. Roaring engines, screeching tyres and exhaust fumes leave maternal emotions and feelings standing at the start line, as our fathers’ egos race from zero-to-top in no time. For once, they have the rare opportunity to stroll and browse without clashing into handbags, high heels and a hundred different fragrances.

Today, like Mother’s Day - time has been set aside to pay homage to the role that fathers have played in our lives. It is not always a joyous occasion when some have only memories of their fathers who have passed on. However, one cannot immunise oneself against the nostalgia that runs havoc in your brain as fond and beautiful memories inundate you about the times you spent growing up with your dad.

Until recently, dads have always been the ones who ‘brought home the bacon’ - a termed coined in the 21^st century - referring to the bread winner of a family - a sort of Kalpatru (wish fulfilling tree) for us children. If we wished for new clothes, shoes or toys we had to merely stand and cry before him. Despite challenges, there would always be a way for him to satisfy our needs. In their wisdom the great sages have therefore proclaimed that reverence should be given to our Mother, Father, Guru and then God. A colourful puranic episode explains how Lord Vinayaga beat His brother Muruga to the fruit of wisdom in a race around the universe. Lord Ganesha circumambulated His parents, instead of trying to circumambulate the eternal universe; quintessentially saying that our parents are everything to us.

Shiva Shakti as one

There is a misconception that has perpetuated through time that fathers are tough and hard whilst mothers are compassionate and loving - bringing to life the ‘tough cop, nice cop’ scenario. In Hindu iconography, there is the most intriguing concept of ardhanarishvara, showing Shakti and Shiva sharing one form. This form essentially speaks to the fact that besides carrying a baby to term, both male and female are equal and have the same potential of expression with regards to love and compassion.

I had the blessed opportunity to be in the holy company of Revered Swami Vimokshananda last Friday. After some discussion and a welcoming cup of coffee, I attended His Friday class. The class is mostly attended by the mothers who perform seva at the Ashram but does not exclude the uncles who try to extract some of Maharaj’s grace and words of wisdom. As I sat in the class, I became a child again as Swamiji’s dulcet voice abound with motherly love cajoled all assembled, giving us a sense of security and well being.

But in this world of maha maya, we all have to face the ultimate reality that our fathers and mothers will one day have to leave us. The sentient beings that we are, we need to feel this love and affection, and when the ones we love leave us, we are found wanting. 

Master Sri Ramakrishna reminds us where to find this paternal love eternally. He said: “As a nurse in a wealthy family brings up her Master's child, loving it as if it were her own, yet knowing well that she has no claim upon it, so you also think that you are but trustee and guardians of your children whose real father is the Lord Himself.”

Knowing this as the truth of the universe, we should all begin the connection with our eternal father who pervades this entire Universe. In Chapter 14 Verse 4 of the Bhagavat Gita, Shri Krishna declares: “It should be understood that all species of life, O son of Kunti, are made possible by birth in this material nature and that I am the seed-giving Father.”

Holy Mother also gives us an assurance by saying: “Whenever you are in distress, just say to yourself I have a Mother.” By taking confidence in these words, we know that our eternal father is waiting to take us by the hands safely home, away from the pains and sufferings of this world.

Let us understand that this birth and life is about this reconnection with our father and mother. Any other goal in this life is futile; all our actions should be a means to this ultimate goal of finding God.

Swami Vivekananda speaks of a very profound incident:

Many years ago, I visited a great sage of our own country, a very holy man. We talked of our revealed books - the Vedas, Bible, Koran and of revealed books in general. At the close of the talk, this good man asked me to go to the table and take up a book; it was a book which among other things contained a forecast of the rainfall during the year. The sage said “read that”. And I read out the quantity of rain that was to fall. He said, “Now take the book and squeeze it”. I did so and he said “Why, my boy, not a drop of water comes out. Until the water comes out, it’s all book. So until your religion makes you realise God, it is useless”.

Dear fathers, mothers and prospective parents, may you take the opportunity you have to enlighten your children about their true Father / Mother and their real goal of life. When such days come upon us like today; they will reflect upon what you did for them and lift their hands in prayer to you for the priceless gift you have given them: showing them the way home.

May the blessings of Narayana our dear Father be upon all on this Father’s Day is my sincere prayer.

With love and prayers always

Yogan